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The Recognition that our children are our most valuable resource/assets!
By JOAN MARIE AMBROSE
On November 1, 2005, as listening to the O'Reilly Factor on TV, I was brought to think about,[what I believe to be,] a critical and often ignored problem that exists in our Country and in fact, all around the world. The Recognition that our children are our most valuable resource/assets! So what are we doing to insure their safety?
Last year a 13-year old girl and 12-year old boy were convicted of first-degree felonies after engaging in intercourse and having a baby. Attorney Randy Richards, who represented the young girl, accused Utah authorities of having warped priorities. "I don't think they should punish the children - they need to help the children with counseling and classes. To slap a first degree punishment on these children is absurd." The Factor countered that some punishment is warranted. "I agree with you that these children are troubled and have to get help. But society has to send a message that this is just not permissible."
As a mother of four children and a grandmother of four children, I have spent a lot of time observing children, their behavior, attitudes and environment. As a writer, lecturer and life coach, I have observed the pain and discomfort experienced by thousands of men and women whose pain and discomfort is the direct and sometime the indirect result of neglect, abuse and lack of love, respect and compassion. Millions of people in the world have sex, produce children and many of those people ignore their responsibility to raise, nurture, water and set the good and noble example needed to insure that the child, their valuable asset, is protected.
We all want to protect our real estate, stocks, bond and the like but the most valuable asset that we as individuals can have and we as a nation needs to understand is our "children." They are all around us dreaming big dreams, wanting to be recognized, acknowledged, respected and loved, yet so very often they are ignored, told not to speak unless spoken to and victims of great anger, resentment and abuse simply because they cannot defend themselves.
When a child acts inappropriately in any behavioral pattern, I believe that it is imperative to examine their source. Responsibility is needed at all levels but it must start with the original source, the birth, nurturing, development and behavior of their parents as much as that of the child. Children mimic their parents or their caregivers. These adults are the first people who are present in the protection, safety, growth and development of the child. It is these same parents who need at times to be reminded of their valuable asset and what their duty and responsibility is to insure that this asset blossoms and grows in a healthy, fulfilling and positive way to the best of their ability. I agree that this is a mouthful but none-the-less a truth. Once we come to agree and believe this truth, the next step is to make a sincere and determined commitment to make sure that every day in every way we do whatever is needed to insure the protection, caring and nurturing of our most valuable asset, our blessing.
I ask my grandchildren often: "What are you doing today to be the best that you can be?" In fact that is the very first question that must be asked when a young child starts to play our game, "STAR POWER."
How often do we ask the parents: "What are you doing today to be the best parent that you could be?"
This may sound mechanical and unrealistic, but just for one moment, step back and observe the actions, behavior, attitude and often the environment in which we bring children into the world. Then ask yourself the question: " Am I doing the best that I can do today to make sure that my most valued asset is being protected?"
I have developed a 9 step approach that suggests ways and means to think about parenthood that I have found works! There are steps that each one of us can take to help us be better parents or to at least understand what may happen if and when we participate in acts of sex.
- The first step is important...if you do not want to create a child...be smart or donít play the game.
As this article notes, almost anyone can participate in the act of procreation but do children and adults alike
understand the consequences that may result. Accepting responsibility for our actions is something that seems
to plague many people.
- When a conscious decision is made to choose parenthood, being informed is vital. Many of us
spend many years in school preparing ourselves for our future careers and lives. If we are
choosing to become parents, then it is imperative to know and accept the fact that we will need to
become as prepared and informed as possible to perform the duties and responsibilities that go
along with that choice. Ignorance is not bliss and is not an acceptable excuse. Books, seminars,
community and hospital programs are readily available.
- Parenting allows no room for being selfish! It is a full time commitment to a child. The freedom
and care-free life of doing what you want to do when you want to do it is gone. Children require a routine and schedule to
help them thrive and grow and this is best accomplished when facilitated by a parent.
- We are all learning...the parent and the child. I always told my children to cut me some slack
because I was never a parent before and I,along with them, was learning how to deal and resolve
different situations and experiences. When they realized that I, too, was learning and
experiencing, they worked with me in creating a better channel of communication, patience and
understanding.
- Life and success is about taking 1 step at a time. This applies to raising our children.
It is important to examine our lives and determine if the feelings and energies that we experienced as children are
the same feelings and energies that they want our children to experience. If we were injured or hurt as children...go
within and explore what the cause was that brought it about. If your parents were distant and unconcerned, do you
want to pass those same feelings and experiences on to your children? When we can get to the root of our discomforts,
we will be better prepared to encourage and share in the accomplishments of our children and help them grow and
prosper in a successful way.
- Discipline is a strong and powerful word that often is experienced in the form of punishment.
We too often punish in the name of discipline and create an outcome coated in hatred, anger and resentment.
The development of self control and respect for ourselves and others will result in positive behavioral and
attitude patterns. Children, like adults, need to learn self-discipline layered with self-respect, self-love and positive reinforcement.
- Watch your mindset. If you are parenting out of anger, frustration and resentment, your children
will know. It is important to say what you mean, mean what you say and do what you say you
are going to do. Children model themselves first after their parents and caregivers. Be the model
that you wish them to follow. If you are moody, short tempered or critical, they will be too.
Schedule in quiet time for your children and yourself each week. It is not only a healthy thing to
do, but in the calm and peace of quiet time the creative channels of brilliance flows. As you allow
silence into your life, be prepared to experience the flow of many blessings.
- Guide their lives by using "Noble Sense" values yourself. I define "Noble Sense" values as
good principled feelings and actions fostered through good behavioral attributes and positive and
constructive attitudes. It is all to easy being a couch potato...zoning out in front of the TV set
watching violence, horror and dark energy and empty shows as the children are listening,
observing and pulling in all those dark emotions. Children are influenced by what they are
exposed to and they learn by example. Be the model that you want them to live. Create a family
day or evening when you can laugh, play and share together. By this I do not mean watching them
play sports. That is totally different and in no way is a substitute for
family interaction.
- Allow your children to express their opinions, their feelings and their dreams. Encourage open
communication and never ridicule or embarrass them. I believe that you should ask them daily:
"What are you doing today to be the best that you can be?" As a parent, you, too, need to ask that of yourself.
It is a powerful statement that is capable of bringing about powerful and positive results.
- Never give up! It's not always easier, but the rewards are well worth it. Be consistent in your
approach and demands...then your children will know the rules and how to follow them. There
is a powerful statement that I have thought of often in my life. " Ask and you shall receive, seek
and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you." We all need support and assistance.
Ask for it, go out and seek the best advise that you can get and always knock on the door of your
Creator. He/she/it has always been with you and has never left you. You are not alone. There is
a powerhouse of support and love standing with you in all that you do. Tap into that energy and
accept the Divine Guidance into your life.
Isn't it time for all people, young and old to start taking back command of their lives...taking responsibility for their behavioral patterns and the environment which they have created for themselves and their children? Or do you want the government...the organizations...the bureaucracy to take over as the big mother and father and tell you what to do...how to do it...and when to do it? The choice is yours.
The children in the world today are floundering... people are floundering. I do not propose that it is easy but I can say that if, as a parent you see your children as a valuable asset for you then you will have lived a life doing the best that you could do. The results will be outstanding and everyone will see the benefits.
Laws and more laws...rules and more rules...punishments and more punishments to infringe on the rights and responsibilities of everyday people is not the answer. Personal accountability and responsibility is vital! I would like to see how you feel and if you, too, are ready to protect your greatest asset now!
The good news is that there is help out there for the asking.
The bad news is that if you do not believe that you need to take heed, the government...the laws...the rules of the land are going to tell you how to care for your children...your life...your everything!
Joan Marie Ambrose is currently residing in Southern California and is the co-founder of Child Like Creations, LLC. Child Like Creations, LLC ("CLC") is a brand-focused Company whose primary objective is to offer noble-sense child-like products to families and children that focus on education, empowerment and education. CLC's Lit'l Messengersô, adorable angel-like characters, brand of products encompass a wide range of good principles that promote fun, happiness, and cooperation and enable children to learn good behavioral attributes. CLC considers noble sense to be good principled feelings and actions that foster practical wisdom. The Lit'l Messengers bring about this awareness as they take on the role of powerful and inspirational friends and mentors.
CLC's foundation is cooperation, not competition, compassion, sharing and caring, not indifference. The Company's values contribute to the well-being of individuals and families and their merchandise reminds children and their families of the common values that we all hope to attain.
Their web site is: www.childlikecreations.com
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